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When Life Gives You Lemons
by a husband, who is the father of six children and a businessman

“Prosperity and success are not always good for you.”
– My Daily Bread, pg 344, Confraternity of the precious Bread

“I will not boast, except about my weaknesses.”
– 2Corinthians 12:5 (NAB)

The last six months have been some of the most difficult i’ve ever experienced in my profession. While i’m deeply grateful to have a job, the stress of difficult client projects and longer hours for less money have been trying. My wife and i have also noticed what appears to be an increase in the number of friends and family experiencing deep pruning in their lives, not always as a result of the recession. It seems to be a time of trial for many people.

I’ll be the first to admit i strongly dislike the adversity, stress and pain that go along with trials. But by God’s grace i’m just beginning to accept what the scriptures, saints, Church and holy friends have said for years. Trials are not only good for us, but necessary for our spiritual growth, especially if endured with the right disposition.

Smashing the Idol of Control
From my perspective, the best benefit of enduring sufferings is that my inordinate self-reliance gets flushed out of the weeds and exposed. When things really start to heat up, i get frustrated and impatient with not being able to “manipulate” the situation to make things improve. Hidden beliefs that say “i’m in control, i direct my life, i shouldn’t be experiencing such difficulties” all come to light.

During hard times, God helps us see that control is really an illusion. We’re not in charge. Our lives don’t even belong to us. We would cease to exist if the Holy Spirit stopped actively sustaining our existence, even for one second. When the idol of control is torn down, we realize our complete dependence on God in every aspect of our lives.

The spirituality of St. Therese of Lisieux is deeply based on this truth: “We know, of course, that we cannot do anything without God. We repeat this, thinking that we have understood the meaning of these sacred words, but we belie this truth in our conduct, sometimes without being aware of it. But God cannot act efficaciously in our soul and bring it to perfection unless it is perfectly humble and quite convinced that everything comes from him. That is why he permits us to fall repeatedly until we realize our extreme wretchedness and our absolute need of divine help. Such divine conduct is but wisdom and mercy” (Complete Spiritual Doctrine of St. Therese of Lisieux, Rev Francois Jamart, pp. 43-44, emphasis added).

Deep Surrender
But recognizing our control issues and complete need for God are not enough. We need to practice abandonment and trust. If we want our hard work to count, we need to cooperate with God’s grace and take our orders from him. We need to run up the white flag, lower the drawbridge and capitulate. “Unless the Lord build the house, they labor in vain who build. Unless the Lord guard the city, in vain does the guard keep watch” (Psalm 127:1).

Of course, surrendering doesn’t get us off the hook from doing our duty. It’s more about how we work and live. It’s about giving each day to God and trusting him to make things fall into place. He’s more responsible for our lives than we are. Our job is to listen, humble ourselves, work hard and not get in his way!

But there’s more. Surrendering even means loving our inability to direct our own lives. “We do not love the state of imperfection for its own sake. We love it because it disposes us for God’s merciful action in our soul. ‘The thing that pleases Jesus when he beholds my soul,’ wrote Therese, ‘is that I love my littleness and my poverty and have a blind hope in his mercy.’” (Jamart, pg 44)

A Sign of Contradiction
Is it any surprise that this call to surrender is so contrary to the desires of the flesh? The first temptation, after all, was “you will be like gods” (Genesis 3:5). A life of surrender is foolishness to the world. So too the cross of Christ.

In one sense, Christianity is more about our undoing than our pulling it together. It’s the unraveling of our grandiose plans. The collapsing of our defenses. The slow release of the reins in our tightly clenched fists. The seed falling to the ground to die. The failure to build a mighty tower reaching to heaven. For every few steps we progress, God reveals how many miles yet to go.

So let us persevere in offering a sacrifice of surrender, for the salvation of our own souls and those around us, “even at the cost of our own lives” (Miles Jesu Handbook, pg 147).

Vinculum members of Miles Jesu live the charism of Miles Jesu in their families and in their workplace.